This morning was fairly typical, I got up, I showered, got dressed and headed to work. I parked my car, walked through the door at about 9:03 and strolled to my cube. Imagine my surprise when I found a lightsaber sitting in my cube. I wondered if I had somehow wandered into an episode of the Twilight Zone or something.
I picked it up as if I were my own and flicked the activation button and it hissed on. I waved it around, the blade made humming noises as it moved through the air. Suddenly… I realized I was at work so I flipped it off and put it down.
I could sense… something… someone was watching.
I turned slowly and realized that a collegue at work was smiling at me. “When did you get that?” I was instantly suspicious of his question. I replied, “Well, when I left, it wasn’t here and when I arrived, it was, if that answers your question.” He smiled again. “It was you, wasn’t it,” I demanded. He assured me that it wasn’t him that placed the weapon in my cube. I wanted answers dammit. Someone just doesn’t walk into the office with a lightsaber lightly. You bring it for a reason. It didn’t make any goddamn sense.
Then it hit me. It had to be… no, he wouldn’t just give up his lightsaber. Who the hell would leave a lightsaber in my cube? What did I do to deserve this? Who did I impress enough to receive such a high honor?
It must have been those reports last week. Yes! That’s it! Those were amazing reports. Sure, it’s the same reports I’ve been sending out for months but someone must have really appreciated them this week. Yes, that was it. It had to be. I sat down and stared at my gift. This was a goddamn promotion in disquise. It was to butter me up for a huge raise. Yes! I knew that my hard work would eventually pay off.
I sat there, smug, admiring my trophy and basking in the success of my ingenious reports. Until, I heard a familiar sound. It was someone approaching. This was it. I was going to finally get the recognition I deserved! I sat up straight, fixed my hair, brushed off my shoulders and put on a smile.
At that moment, the approaching person came into view. A fellow collegue. I was instantly disappointed. Where was my boss!? Obviously there was some mistake.
“So, do you like the lightsaber,” she asked. “Y-y-y-yes…” “My husband doesn’t like it and wanted me to get rid of it, it’s yours,” she said. “Thank you.” And then she walked away.
My dreams were crushed, minced and burned in 2.5 seconds. I was not getting a raise. I was not getting promoted. I was getting a used, unwanted, unappreciated, thrown-away lightsaber. My luck never fails me I guess. In all honesty, it looks awesome with all my cube toys. It’s just that.. the raise and promotion stuff sounded good! *grumble*